"...Love thy neighbor as thyself..."

On Sunday as I was sitting and listening to the minister in church, this well known scripture and secular saying, love your neighbor as you love yourself was exhorted upon in a very simple and yet profound way... 

The question was asked, “How can we carry out this commandment if we don’t love ourselves?”

If we do not have a healthy respect for who we are, what we believe, how we conduct our lives, and how we silently speak to ourselves within our own hearts and minds, how then can we do a good job of loving our neighbor?

Take a few minutes and just ponder within your heart and mind, “If others could hear what my ‘silent thoughts’ of self were, would they think I am a positive or a negative person?” Would they want to be spending time with me, if I was talking out loud and sharing my inner thoughts with them? Would I be an encouragement to them, or discouragement to them?

Next take a few minutes to ask yourself the questions? “Do I love me?” Not in a boastful, proud, puffed up way, simply, do you love who God made you to be? Are you content with who you are? The talents and gifts that God has given you, are you satisfied with those or are you constantly striving to be more like somebody else rather than focusing on the blessings of who you are, rather than who you are not? 

By nature, I’m a positive person.  But, I know there have been plenty of times in my life when my self talk has been extremely negative and detrimental to self.  These times usually occur when I am feeling insecure or stressed. And, in almost all situations, I am comparing my self worth to somebody else's life or situation and finding dissatisfaction or unfairness within my own life or circumstance.  The quote “comparison is the thief of joy” (Theodore Roosevelt) resounds loud and clear when we find ourselves not loving ourselves.  

Go back to the quote “Love thy neighbor as thyself”. Who is your neighbor? I am confident that Christ wasn’t only telling us to love the people who live next door.  No, our neighbor is our fellow man, all those we cross paths with. It may be your children as you care for them throughout your day. Perhaps it is the co workers you work alongside. The students you go to class with, the drivers you pass in your car, the teller at the bank, or the cashier at your local grocery store.  Definitely a convicting and weighty commandment - one in which we all have to work at on a daily basis.  

So, how can I, how can you, do better at loving ourselves? Be thankful. Share  your blessings and willingly give to others. Smile, and let the sparkle in your eyes match the beauty of that smile. Realize that you can’t be perfect or great at everything.  Accept your weaknesses. Feed yourself food that nourishes and strengthens your body. Make wise decisions. Keep God as a focus and priority in your life. Make Jesus Christ your best friend. Cherish the relationships in your life. Love your children and spouse deeply.  Make amends where there are hurts and broken relationships. Forgive, and let it go. Show mercy and compassion. Speak kind words. 

I’m the only one who can love myself.  I’m thankful for being given this perspective and I’ve been inspired to work more diligently and purposefully at loving me. For, if I don’t love me, who will love me? And how can I show love, give love, and bestow love on my neighbor?

“You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself.  And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions.” (Paul Ferrini)