Take the Time to Fall in Love Again and Again...

With Valentine’s Day just a few days away, take a few moments to read this post, and ponder where you are in your relationship with your spouse.  May this inspire you to take the time to fall in love over and over as the days, months, and years unfold..

I’m going to take the opportunity to center this blog post around the value of relationships.  Why? Well, about 3 weeks ago I returned from a vacation to Jamaica with my Dad and Mom, and all of my siblings and their spouses, (eight of us total).  In the past 15 months my parents have celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary, and the 3 of us children have celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. So together, we had 125 years of marriage represented within this vacation. This didn’t “just happen”, marriage takes work, it takes the good with the bad, the joys and the sorrows, sickness and health, and through it all, you continue to fall in love over and over.

I came across this quote today:

“A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE REQUIRES FALLING IN LOVE MANY TIMES, ALWAYS WITH THE SAME PERSON.” Mignon McLaughlin

When you and your spouse are first married, you find yourself giddy in love, you walk on clouds, and there is a quickening of your heart every time your eyes meet.  There is a blissfulness about life. This is wonderful! But, then life happens. There is a misunderstanding between you and your spouse. Unkind words are spoken, tension builds, and you realize everything isn’t perfect.  So, what do you do in a healthy relationship and marriage? You talk about it, you share your hurts and frustrations, you forgive, and, once again you fall in love with your spouse.

As your relationship and marriage continues, you settle into a routine, a constancy, a give and take of what he does, and what she does.  Then, one day, you come home from work, you walk into the house, and the messy house and dishes you had left undone, are done. You make eye contact with your incredible spouse, he gives you a wink and a slow smile, and you fall in love again.  You are convinced that God has given you the best man on earth, and you are the most blessed woman alive!!

Two of the kids are sick with the flu, as a spouse you are feeling run down, and energy is at a zero.  During the night, the kids are sick, again, needing a parent. Your groggy, but willing spouse, looks at you, and says, “I’ll take care of them this time, go back to sleep.  Once again, you fall in love.

You are ecstatic, you just learned that your best friend is getting married, and she’ll be living in the same town as you. You pick up the phone, you call your spouse.  You know that he will want to share in your joy, and rejoice with you and with your friend. Your joys are his joys. The phone call ends and your face radiates with a smile from ear to ear...  You have just fallen in love again.

The economy drops, and your spouse loses their job.  The extras in routine life need to come to a stop. Eating out, which you once enjoyed every Friday night, now becomes a rare gift.  Instead of buying new clothes for the kids, you now head to 2nd hand stores to keep up with their ever growing bodies and needs. Things are tense, and everything seems more difficult.  But, amidst the struggles you and your spouse continue to bestow patience and kindness upon one another and to your children. Together you make the best of most days, and continue to find the blessings of difficult times.  You know without each other, you’d never make it, and during these challenging times you fall in love again and again (perhaps even more so than when things were “really good”). Why does it take the hard times to really appreciate what we so often just take for granted?

This, and so much more, is what it takes to build trust, confidence, joy, and love within the relationship between you and your spouse. It is so worth the effort, and the more you give, the more you get back.  You find yourself falling in love sometimes at the most unexpected times. It is the little things, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, the laughs, the tears, his quirky habits, her irritating obsessions, vacations, family dinners, intimate nights out, chaotic camping adventures, holidays, good health, cancer diagnosis, new life, weddings, death, and so much more. These all compiled becomes your life, your marriage, and through it all you fall in love over and over and over!

If this somehow has prompted you into action to make it your goal to make your spouse fall in love with you once again today, please feel free to share this.  We all need an extra push of motivation or inspiration, and perhaps you sharing will spur another on.

“Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.” Brian Tracy

Keep moving towards your optimal wellness…

I’m here to nurture you on your journey,

Wishing you healthful blessings,

Kimberly Schneider

Certified Integrative Health Coach